Princess Rosalina, a Mario heartthrob, at Gamespot
We are not the only sailors heading for the high seas this weekend; my friend Kris and her novio Al were set to sail today. Their boat has no furling sails, no electric winch to haul up the anchor. And although Kris takes responsibility for manually raising and lowering the sails when they're underway, and hauling up the anchor by hand, Al jokingly refers to her as a "princess."
"Princesses," in cruising vernacular, are mates who are less than enthusiastic about the voyage unless they can count on certain amenities, such as square meals, adequate water, cleanliness, order and pleasant aromas instead of diesel fumes and bilge rot. If these comforts are lacking, they tend to be somewhat vocal, even shrill, about it. They like to have some place on the boat cool enough to sleep. When they get seasick they can't cook. They hate the clunky, smelly toilet in the head. They use too much water washing their hair. They loathe overnight passages and doze off on lonely midnight watches. They are not much help in a crisis. When they spot land, they want to walk on the beach, dine at a palapa restaurant or even go shopping. If they have a choice, they'll catch a taxi to town instead of trudging the mile or so in the midday heat.
Some princesses aren't skilled enough to handle sails or anchor and prefer to just fill in at the helm now and then, and decorate the decks in their bikinis or birthday suits. Some go to extremes with their demands, wanting conveniences like walk-in closets, washers, dryers and jacuzzis on the deck. And some captains actually provide them.
But in my view Kris is hardly a princess if she manages without a furler and electric windlass. Even my Capt wouldn't want to sail without those improvements.
If a boat trip with Kris is a Princess Cruise, it's only because she contributes considerably to the comfort of the voyage, by keeping the boat clean, keeping the captain royally-fed with her gourmet meals and efficiently performing a lot of the duties that (frankly) she does better than he can. So there.
I only hope I can live up to her standard of performance out there on the sea. I admit to a less-than-enthusiastic attitude about sailing this late in the season, intimidated by murderous 100-plus degree heat and dangerous storms. But I'm working on my frame of mind. If Kris can do it, I can too!