Somewhere in our peaceful-looking anchorage, short fuses are smolderingThere are a lot more occupied boats in our two marinas, the workyard and the anchorage, and the burgeoning population has resulted in a lively morning VHF radio net. In midsummer after the snowbirds went home, it was hard to find anchors for the net, and only a handful of us checked in.
But the drawback to having more folks on the Net is that it takes longer to get through everything, from Ham and Emergency Traffic to Weather, Announcements, Local Assistance, Bay Watch, Swaps and Trades, and wrapping up with Jokes and Trivia. And some of us, I guess, get a little antsy if it starts to sound like chitchat. Today it came to a head, and bad feelings are hanging over the boating community like a small gray cloud on a sunny day.
A newly-arrived cruising couple started a daily Trivia Contest, with the prize a hot-from-the-oven treat: recently it was brownies, today it was ginger cookies. I'm not great with trivia so I haven't paid a lot of attention, but I admired them for baking confections every day for the winners--especially considering that baking on a boat is not as easy as in a home kitchen.
Today it was the Trivia couple's turn to moderate the Net, and after the weather they presented their question du jour. Fred the weatherman, a fixture in San Carlos, asked that the Trivia Contest be reserved for the last item before closing down the Net. The Trivia guy replied tartly that they would just drop the contest. Fred tried to placate, explaining that some of us have a lot to do, but by now the Trivia folks were feeling insulted, and they turned off their radio, leaving the rest of the Net for somebody else to moderate and committing a breach of radio etiquette.
I was reminded of an article I read yesterday about short fuses in Slate magazine. I personally must have an exceptionally long fuse because I don't even think of an angry retort, usually, until after the insulter has moved on. An offensive remark usually just leaves me mute with astonishment. Why would they pick on me, Ms. Makenice? Sometimes in the wee hours I'll wake up with the perfect rejoinder, far too late. Maybe I should write them down anyway, just for fun.
But I've always been aware of -- and carefully avoided -- people who seem to have an eye out for a potential slur, a possible besmirching of their character, appearance or social skills. Road rage. Disgruntled employees who stalk into their former workplaces in camos and blow away everyone who ever looked at them funny. Guys in bars who don't like other guys ogling their wives. Other guys who stab their girlfriends over issues like bus schedules. Neighbors who slaughter one another in conflicts over barking dogs, messy trees and errant fencelines...well, it's a jungle out there, after all.
Nothing like the aforementioned news items is likely to occur here in this boating community (I fervently hope), but this morning's flap is evidence that short fuses are everywhere. Even Rodney "Can we all get along?" King has been arrested several times for assault and spousal abuse.
A large percentage of the US population is now advocating that next month we elect a man with a notoriously short fuse to our highest office, while his opponent is portrayed as being too cool and laid-back, i.e. unpresidential. Issues and party partisanship aside, since when is a volatile, profoundly angry man more appropriate to lead the country than one who stops to think?
...such angry individuals can be the product of their faulty education. Parents tolerating their child's aggressiveness, or acting angrily around the child can imply that being angry and aggressive is ok, and turn him or her into an angry adult.My observations today could ignite a few short fuses in the blogosphere. But that's not what bothering me. I just wish I'd had a shot at those ginger cookies.
In such a situation however the adult is not powerless, the education of a child is not like the programming of a robot that just does what it was designed to do. In the end, one chooses what to be, and one is responsible not only for what one does but also for what one is. This is a scary thought for many people - the fact that they cannot get away by saying "that's just how I am, what can I do about it?"
